Translation of the article here posted on 15/02/2021
Hello how are you? Today is Single Awareness Day. This celebration is a creation of a young high school student in 2001! Dustin Barnes wanted to create a day for singles to feel better while enjoying the price reductions on all Valentine’s chocolates! 😂 Going to study at Mississippi State University, he popularized the concept in the United States. Since the day is more and more recognized to be a day dedicated to self-love. I looked on Google for the recommended activities on this day:
- Indulge yourself by preparing for an « ME » time: shopping, spa, Netflix, etc. ✔️ It’s a bit my daily life hahah. I’m not here to suffer
- Going on a solo trip ✔️ It was my favorite activity but COVID 🥲
- Participate in a speed dating ❌ Is it still a trendy concept?
- Make a list of the things you love about yourself ❌ It’s a good idea. I will make an instagram of it. If you don’t follow me there, what are you waiting for? It’s this way
- Getting married to yourself ✔️ Article here I didn’t go so far as to organize a ceremony. Who knows maybe one day 🤷🏾♀️
This day is therefore focused on self love, but for me it is a bit redundant with Valentine’s Day. I consider Valentine’s Day to be the feast of love in every sense of the word. This day. I transform it into Galentines day which is the feast of friends. It’s funny while preparing this article I realize that Galentines day is celebrated one day before Valentine’s Day. Usually with my single friends, we go to the restaurant, then to the pub to celebrate our friendship and bitcher on the male race … This year, that will not be possible because we are in confinement at the moment in the United Kingdom. We made a face call instead. I had a cheese platter delivered to me, competitive deli meats (by the time you read it, I’m probably still finishing it). I had rosé in the fridge 😆. I find that SAD (yes the acronym for Single Awareness Day gives SAD 😬) remains a great opportunity to uninhibit celibacy and send a cure of good vibes to my readers. It can happen to anyone and at any age. It’s time to walk with a bulging chest without feeling guilty. The world has changed, we are no longer in 1950.
Self love is a principle that was discovered by many people during 2020 but I have been exploring this concept for almost ten years! There was no particular revelation about my worth or that I deserve respect and kindness. I willingly give it to others, why should I not have the right to myself? During the year this kindness to myself has resulted in a lot of Deliveroo orders hahah. 2020 taught me to let go. At the start of the year, I had made up my mind to play sports every day to make up for the closure of sports halls, to avoid getting too fat and to control stress. As the bars did not reopen and the brunch plans died in the bud my motivation crumbled. I was constantly pushing back the resumption.
I put myself under this pressure to make dates because I am regularly confronted with direct or indirect judgments indicating that I am responsible for my celibacy. There is such pressure on women to find husbands in many cultures. I think subconsciously it still works for me. I feel guilty when I am not actively researching. Until 2020, I followed the usual advice: go out more, go to dating apps, do salsa (in real life it’s a passion. I don’t do it especially to meet someone but normally I do. ‘is a good plan), meet up …. No, but wait, I haven’t done speed dating yet! Maybe that’s the problem? ahah😆
I did all of this stuff but seriously I think a lot of men are afraid of black women. We have images of wild women (yes again in 2021), of venal and problematic women. In France, I had no problem meeting men through dating applications because I find that the French have much more chat than the English regardless of skin color. In truth, I think it is true for all the men of the south of Europe. Suddenly, my conversations do not often go beyond « Hi, how are you? … The weather is nice … How was your week ». Often I speak to myself and he adds little or nothing to the conversation. Maybe it’s because they match with me out of spite 🤷🏾♀️ but that’s really not my problem I’m not going to beg for quality conversation and attention. Boy bye. Not to mention, the racism of algorithms implemented in these applications. Clearly, women are considered the bottom of the basket. I sincerely think it’s the best way to meet someone in 2021 but it’s so time consuming for not even the equivalent of a tenth of the effort made. And then, from the moment you want to ask yourself the options become scarce because of the biased image that people have. Many white men in the majority on these apps just want to fulfill a fantasy and therefore a one-night stand. All of these things have really put me off lately.
In 2018, over 44.1% of the population was single in the UK. Being single can be a permanent status. It’s been a few years that I consider the fact that the meeting does not happen and that I end up alone all my life. I know that for many I would be worth nothing because I will not be married and I will probably not have children but whatever. I like my company. I am independent. I have a roof under my head. I eat three meals a day. There is worse situation. I will not be a withered flower but a dried flower. My essence will be preserved. I would do anything to enjoy life. I’m not going to get any younger, of course, but for all ages there are singles with different advantages and disadvantages. There is a market for all slices! Between the ages of 30 and 50, there are more and more single people because of the increase in divorces. « Someone trash is someone else treasure » as they say.
The takeaway from my message is that being single is not death. It’s a status that doesn’t say anything about you or your worth. If you feel bad, know that being in a relationship is not going to make you happy. I follow girls in a relationship on Instagram who regularly share their depression and their difficulty in loving each other. If you’re unhappy on your own, you probably will be in a relationship too. I think we fixate on things we don’t have so as not to get to the bottom of things: Why hate your own company so much that you panic at the idea of being alone? The work begins face to face with yourself. Happiness is a state of mind that works and matures from within. The person who shares your life is only there to certify it. We must seek this spark more than ever! The pandemic proves that every day counts. Tomorrow can be gone with a snap of a Thanos-style finger in the Avengers. You won’t wait to meet your prince charming to take the road trip of your dream in Argentina. You won’t wait to find your soul mate to take Kizomba lessons. I invite you to read my article on The things I am not afraid to do alone. Now is the time to get to know each other, to take on challenges and to fall in love with yourself
I will end my monologue here. I wish you a happy Monday!